User blog:Degrassi Forever/Destroying Juliet, Chapter Thirteen
THIS IS NOT A FAN-FICTION. THIS IS A STORY I WORKED ON DURING MY SUMMER HOLIDAYS. Bullet Proof: When you make yourself bullet proof you find yourself engaging in a lot of self talk. Ignore them, turn away, smile brightly; pretend you didn't hear ir, see it, read it. Talk nicely to those who are hateful, but not too nice - you don't want to look like a suck. Above all else do not give them the power. Do not let them think they are strong. I felt an element of confidence return each time my feet touched the netball courts at recess and lunch. Pretty pathetic hey? I was protected when I was in my safe little haven, with the four people in the entire school I could trust. I'd just had Science, which always puts a lift in my step. Jacob was one cool guy. In the forty five minute lesson I spent with him it wasn't hard to believe I was someone else. My four friends were deep in conversation, which stopped abruptly as they saw me approach. I don't know if you can imagine the horror I experienced seeing the look of guilt on their faces. Especially Marshall's. "Hi," I said, feeling like I was about to vomit. They said "Hi" back, but none of them would make eye contact with me. What had they been talking about? Obviously me - but what about me? I dropped my bag but I didn't want to sit. If they had all turned on me too I didn't think I could bear it. Where could I go then? "Sit down Juliet," Marshall said, looking up at me. "What's going on?" I asked, my eyes darting from one to the other. "What were you talking about? What's the big secret?" "Nothing, sit down." Marshall grabbed my hand and pulled me down. I reluctantly sat; I had nowhere else to go. Everyone was silent. "Well?" I said, staring at Marshall. I knew he'd tell me the truth. "What's the latest bullshit? Who am I supposed to be doing now?" I felt like crying. "Oh God," Marshall said, putting his arm around me, "it's nothing like that. It's not even about you." "What then?" I stared at him defiantly. Not really about me? "It's a party," he said, "at Shae's this Saturday night." "Right," I laughed in relief, "well I guess I'll have to mark that one in my social calendar. As if!" Jemima and Sukey were still silent. Tamara stared stonily into the distance. "Well," I said, suddenly realising, "you've all been invited then?" "Yeah," Marshall grabbed my hand, "but we're not - I'm not - going. No way." I could tell by their body language that Sukey, Tamara and Jemima were. "It's okay," I said, "I don't have a problem with any of you guys going. It'll probably be great, everyone from school will be there. Shit, I can understand you going." Sukey looked up. "I'm sorry, Juliet, it's just that I've never been invited to anything like this before. And I've always wanted to go." She had tears in her eyes. I knew she felt like a traitor. "Sook, it's fine. Honestly. Go, don't worry about me. Truthfully, I wouldn't have been allowed to go anyway. You know what my parents are like." I tried to sound convincing. But of course it hurt. Everyone, even the Weirdos and Queeros were invited. Except me. Marshall insisted on coming to hockey practice after school. I think he must have been worried about me. During lunch it was hard to keep on smiling and pretending I was okay, even though I was getting pretty good at the act. Part of me felt betrayed by them. Why would they want to go to that bitch's party? But the thing that brought me down was that it was another public declaration of how I was the most unpopular girl in the school. "If she can bring her own cheer squad, why can't you," he said, looking at Shae pulling her socks up to her knees. "Don't give up, Juliet, they'll know why." I wasn't sure if he meant hockey or the pretence I was living. But either way, Marshall was right; they would know why and I would be sending a clear message that they frightened me. On the field I was sure I was the target for every wildly swung stick or badly hit ball. By the end of practice several bruises were erupting over my body, one the size of an egg on my shin. "Sorry," Shae had casually thrown her shoulder as she ran away with the ball and I lay on the grass, my leg pulled up to my chest, sure my shin was cracked. I looked for Miss Fisher, but she was running down the boundary line, her eyes fixed on the ball's journey. After practice I sat on the bench next to Marshall and peeled back my sock to survey the damage. Shae was zipping up her sports bag and flicking her golden hair around. She hadn't even worked up a sweat. "Hi Mitch," I heard her say. I looked over and Mitch and Jeremy were approaching with sports bags and towels over their shoulders. "Hi Shae," Mitch said. "Pretty good game, congratulations on the foul you got away with." "What foul?" she asked flirtaciously. She was so transparent it made me cringe watching her. "The one where you stole the ball from Juliet and tried to break her leg," he said, looking over at me. I could feel the hairs on my arms starting to rise. I didn't want his attention. "That was a fair tackle," she said, eyes narrowing as she looked my way. "C'mon," I said softly to Marshall, grabbing his hand. "It looked fair to me," Jeremy said, smiling at Shae. "See," she said to Mitch. But he wasn't looking at her, he was looking at me. "Juliet," he began. But I cut him off quickly. "Look, I'm sorry, I've gotta go. My Dad's waiting over there for me." The words were jumbled and quick and I waved my arm vaguely. Whatever he wanted to say to me I had to stop it, it didn't matter what it was. I had the feeling it would be about Saturday night. And that would be the most disastrous thing he could do - ask me if I was going, or worse, ask me to go with him. Whatever it was would be bad news for me. I dragged Marshall as I tried to escape. Mitch looked stunned. "Weird," he said, before I was out of earshot. "She is," Shae confirmed, nodding her head happily. "And that boy is queer," Jeremy said, smiling at Shae. Go to Chapter Fourteen Category:Blog posts